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The Lost of my Beloved Wife Sie

This is Kevin, Sie's Husband. I am trying to let everyone know that She is No longer with us. We were hit by a drunk driver on our way home from vaction. Sie is so precious and I dont know how I am going to get on with out her. She is so important to many that I am trying to let her friends know about our loss. Please Visit www.samanthaleonard.info Thankyou all for loveing my wife she is truely a wonderful wife and friend to all that knew her.

Cali trip tomorrow.

So thanks to the military this week has been nothing but a huge stress. It was never this bad in England which makes me resent coming here even more.

However, it looks like we will be leaving tomorrow morning. Kevin finds out in a moment is MPF approved his leave. It was all under the stipulation that his travel voucher from his TDY got sorted. Which apparently has been.

I still don't have a deffinite on if Jess can take care of the ferrets. Though it looks like she will, and I'm happy for that because she's one of the few I trust on this base... actually I think beside my husband (which is void because he's coming too) she's the only person I really trust on this base.

Today I have to get the house in order for our trip. Clean all our clothes again that are getting packed so they stay fresh through the two days drive. Though I am hanging out with some peeps tonight, so hopefully I can get most of it done by then.

The ferrets seem to know something is up. I gave them their birthday gifts. It's a pirate ship with a rope bridge and rope ladder and a little pirate flag. I'm not big into pirates, but it is cute for them.

We're going to be driving down to Vegas. Probably arrive there early evening. We've booked a very nice hotel for the evening, and will be going to a few shows before crashing for the drive the next day. It's only a few hours from Vegas, so we'll arrive at Kevin's mum's early saturday afternoon. She won't be there, but his brother will be, and his dad. I have no idea what the plans are. I doubt we'll have the time to do all the things we wanted. We had originally planned to go to Knotts and Disney, but since we have less than a week... I don't think that'll be possible. I won't lower my hopes. I know we're going to have a blast. I cannot wait.

The ferrets are going to be well taken care of. Angel is coming with us. She's going to get to see Vegas with us haha. The hotel luckily allows dogs. Though I'm not looking forwards to taking her on a 15 hour drive. I'm sure that's going to drive her crazy. It's going to drive me crazy haha.

I'm sure she'll love being there though. I can't wait to take her to the beach! I think that's going to be a blast. I'm not a huge fan of the beach. I don't know why... I think it's beautiful to look at, and I enjoy playing in the water, but I would must more enjoy a water park. However, I don't care as long as it's a vacation with Kevin. Even if it is to see his family... they are all so nice that it'll just add to the fun. Like a family vacation only that's where they live HAHAHA.

Anyways... I really do have a lot to do.

X Sie

Kevvy is coming home!

Today Kevin gets home from his TDY. I'm supposed to pick him up, but I don't know when he gets here, so I'll just wait for his call. I miss him so much and cannot wait to hold him again.

The house is sparkling, and the bedroom is sexiafied (it's a word... I made it up, and don't see why others can make up words and I cannot, so it is a real word now).  My hair is all pretty. I don't know what I'm going to wear, but I'm thinking my white shorts and two purple tops. I don't want to get too dressed up, and I want to feel comfortable. I got a really gorgious bra and undies especially for his return. There are some perks to him being away. The return is fantastic haha.

I am lucky I got to talk to him so much while he was away. I got to play games and watch movies with him. I saw him on webcam almost every night. Though my Final Fantasy download made me lag so much these last two days.

Tonight I'm preparing a wonderful meal. I'm making steak and Kevin's favorite salad, with mashed potatoes made from scratch and fresh veg. I'm very much looking forwards to our date.

He goes back to work tomorrow... Which sucks, but I hope this weekend comes fast so I may have time with him.

Anyways, back to getting ready.

X Sie

Moar studying to make me all edjamacated.

So I really had a plan today. Shopping... other stuff that sounded a lot more fun than studying, but I stuck with it and studied. I did another practise post exam, and got less than I did on the one I did the other day. I did get a 98 and a 96, but today I got a 92 and a 94. >.< WTH!?!?!?! Gwar... I guess it's my own fault. I got interupted during my test with housing coming to my door and reminding me to take care of the weeds that popped up in our driveway. Which is fine. He was actually a cool guy. He asked about the cage he could see through the door because he thought it was a bird cage, so we talked about animals a while and he showed me the tatoo on his arm. That sounded a lot more creepy than it was. He was just a nice oldish guy.

Anyways. After another 5 minutes I got myself a rootbeer and played with Angel... Point is I wasn't paying much attention because this test (even though it's supposed to be random) was one I've already done, so I pretty much half answered. got 4 questions wrong on the first test, and each was in an area I know fully well and couldn't believe I was so wrong. When I read the test again I felt stupid for getting them wrong, but didn't matter... I got a 94 on the test after that anyway *sigh*. Stupid test.

Anyways, as per my course requirment I started on the Critical Thinking eval... Not that it matters how good my thinking is... It doesn't change the test, but I stopped after reading the first page.

I studied for almost 6 hours today, but I feel like I have done nothing. No movies... only one instance in WoW. Very little time off from studying but a whole lot of daydreaming while studying.

Kevin just needs to get home so I can stop daydreaming about it.

Well I'm downloading FF14.

Study Time

I'm having the worst time studying today. I even decided to reward myself with sexy underwear shopping for Kevin's return in a couple of days. I know I'm not getting any studying done the day he comes home, and possibly the day after if he's not working, so I'm pretty much studying double time till he gets home. It sucks because my exams only a month away and I haven't covered one subject yet. I'm in hope of starting Boise University in January to finish my degree. *sigh* How can I do that if I keep postponing everything???? AGGHHH.

So lets face facts, there is no reason why I should not get 98% on my english exam. I'm pro at english... except spelling. Not that I really care about trying to make my spelling and grammer perfect in my journal though. Just every time I take practise tests for English I only seem to get 96% Come one really? This is getting very old!!! I'm getting very tired of trying. LOL. This week I was supposed to start math, but held off because I honestly HATE math. It's probably my weakest point. I'm looking forwards to social studies even though I'm pretty much starting from scratch with that. Living in England we only went over English history (which I dropped out of after Henry the VIII). However, I know that all that will come quite easily to me (I hope). I'm not worried about science at all since I am a science fanatic (weird since even scientific math comes easy to me). *sigh* Got 100% on every lit test I have done... No surprise there.

Come on brain... Absorb!!!

FOCUS!!! AGGHHH

Ok.. I need to get some chores done in prep for Kevin getting home. I cannot wait!! I really can't.

I'm going to make the best dinner ever. Dress in the most amazing outfit. Getting my hair done Saturday and the finishing touches Monday morning. I'm going to look fab, and cannot wait to feel Kevin's soft lips again. Ohh.... The whole idea gets me all excited. This week has started to go by very fast until today. Only a few more days... YAY!

The ferrets get their surprise on Monday. I'm hoping it comes before Kevin comes home so I can surprise him with the new ferret nation layout.

I got a pirate ship, rope bridge, and rope ladder. They will love it I know!!

X Sie

Gosh I'm done studying.

So, this week has been a little crazy. From not getting to talk to Kevin, to getting to talk to him for only 5 minutes. I have to say it's been tough.

He's doing ok there in Alaska, though he's working his butt off 99% of the time. Two nights this week he only slept 4 hours because he wanted more then 15 minutes of call time with me. I appreciated it of course, but not I worry about how he feels at work.

He said he loves Alaska, but is starting to hate the Squadron he works for/with more and more every day. I feel for him because even there he is coming home with cuts and scrapes and I'm not there to take care of him when he gets home. He's living out of a microwave.... Which is fine for a day, but for weeks... That isn't healthy... Yet there's nothing I can do about it. He's still unable to get chow hall food... which no matter how bad it is, it's a whole lot better than a burrito.

I've been eating quite well. Better than I thought. I have a lot of left overs frozen, but have been taking good care of myself. Yesturday I got sushi for lunch :3

Yesturday was my busiest day of the last two weeks. I got up with Kevin getting online. I had about 6 hours of sleep I think. Talked to him till about 7 or 8AM. Which was fantastic. When Kevin went to bed I got to cleaning. I watched Angelic Layer a little, but got so into what I was doing that I didn't realise when it ended and I had deep cleaned the kitchen and livingroom. I don't really dust on top of the tall bookshelf in the livingroom, or the counters in the kitchen as apart of my routine, but when I did yesturday there was so much dust that I was coughing and sneezing for a good hour. Cleaned the ferret's cage and clipped the ferret's nails. Gave Anuke a half bath because she doesn't really clean her bottem very well.... *sigh*  Brushed Angel till there were pretty much two Angel's on the floor (she's still malting). Cleaned the floor. Redid a bunch of laundry I had done that Angel had made a bed out of. and Cleaned all the sheets and bedding along with a bunch of clothes that we still have in storage.

All in all it took my from 8ish in the morning till after 1PM. I got cleaned up and went to the commisary and bought a few items. Then I got sushi to go and went home. I ate while watching Angelic Layer and felt so relaxed after working so hard. It was good sushi too... Mmmm I LOVE sushi.

After that I wanted to get the first chapter of my workbook done before going to sleep. That was easy to say. I started getting tired at 4. Which is close to the time I go to sleep in time to spend time with Kevin. However, I set a goal and wasn't about to not finish. By the time I got to bed it was after 10:30 and I was exhausted to the point where I couldn't sleep well just based on that. It feels like I slept an hour before Kevin got online. :(

But I wasn't about to throw away time with Kevin, so a cup of tea and a crumpet later and I'm feeling much better. We watched a few shows together and I went back to sleep when he did.

I woke up after 2PM, Sooooo.... I'ma guess I'm changing my schedule.

Anyways, now I have to shower and get something to eat. I have the whole yard to finish today. Then back to studying... :3

X Sie

monday... already

I haven't spoken to Kevin since Saturday. It's only monday, but I feel my world crack a little. It's probably not even his fault. I just wish we could leave the military behind. I hate the military lifestyle. Love Kevin to death, but all I feel is the military pulling at our lives.

I mean it's ok... Not like I'm going to leave or anything... Kevin's worth more than that. It just sucks when it has to be like this. Sucks even more seeing as I still don't have that many friends here.

I miss my family so very much. I feel so alone right now.

X Sie

August

Not really much going on this week. Kevin left on Saturday which sucked. I dropped him off and got to sit with him a while. Heard from him a little when he got there. They couldn't fix his laptop, so he bought a new one. Which is good because now I can talk to him.

Angel has been missing him. On our walks and such she notices his car (probably forgets it was there before we left) and runs to the house, but once we're inside she just asks to go out again. She whines when she hears him on voice chat, and has been craving for more of my attension than usual. It's not good for her to always be missing him so much.

I've not slept very well... I'll either over sleep or under sleep, but never in the middle. I've been taking care of myself other than that of course. I have so much food in the house I could feed an army. Angel's been getting spoiled because if I eat chicken or steak or whatever, I make her some too.

It's still hard cooking for only one person. It's only day 5 and my freezer is packed with leftovers. Which is great and not at the same time. If I'm tired I can just throw it in the microwave, but usually I'm not a huge fan of leftovers. Tonight I'm going to defrost chicken and have that with mash and veg... which means 3 more days of leftovers. I guess I could just peel 2 potatoes or something and mash that, but I enjoy cooking, so would rather make the whole bag and freeze it for shepperds pie. (which I'll probably make during the week). I promised Kevin I wouldn't just make microwave meals or fries all the time because he knows I get sick if I don't eat properly and then I get grumpy. I think I've done an okay job. Haven't gone to the gym since he left because my sleep is all off, but promised myself I would fix that and go tomorrow. I always feel really good after the gym and it helps me not get lonely or too bored without Kevin.

Starting studying on Monday. Fun fun fun!! I'm looking forwards to it. College starts in October for me, and I'm happy about that.

The ferrets are doing good. Crazy as they are. Angel is barking at the kids playing outside >.< bad Angel.

Still arguing with Sennin... when will it end? Dev's been a help in some ways. We watched a couple of movies together the other night and I had a blast.

Going to see the Misfits in November!!! No lie... I can't wait!

Can't wait to hug Kevin. Even 3 weeks is too long. I miss him.

X Sie
This week has gone by too fast. Poor Kevin has been working so hard that when he comes home, he's exhausted. He showers and gets changed and usually crashes soon after. I've been making good meals every night to keep his spirits up while he's at work, but it hasn't been enough. He comes home with so many scratches and bruises that this week alone I had to buy more neosporen and alchole wipes. The jet grease stains the bathtub, so I have to clean it first with degreaser every day then normal cleaner. Yet this week every morning when I spray the bathtub I've just felt useless. It's just jet crap, but when I'm cleaning Kevin's uniform or anything from work it just upsets me because I know how hard he is working, and all I can do it have clean comfy clothes and hot food when he gets home. I wish I could do more. He's always in high spirits, but this week I have seen his spirits drop, and him just become this shell. At dinner today we just ate, no convo, no prayer. Nothing. I feel like now it's really hitting him, but still he has no time to relax because on Saturday he leaves to go straight to work... Only there he doesn't get to come home and relax.

Everyone please keep Kevin in your prayers at least for this week.

As for me, I mean I'm upset he's going, but we have the computer and phonecalls, so I can handle it by all means. It'only a few weeks, but I will of course be lonely and worrying about him the whole time because he's such a guy and probably will just throw something in the microwave for dinner, or settle for eating crisps. I hope he takes care of himself and I hope he enjoys himself too. I've never been to Alaska, but I'd love to go. I know Kevin's already been there because they stopped there on the way back from Korea. He said they get a three day weekend on memorial day weekend. I hope he uses it to his advantage. We're going on vacation soon after he gets back. We're going to cali for two weeks while Angel enjoys a very high priced but great kennel. She even gets to go swimming a few times. 20$ a day, but she LOVES to swim.

It's going to be SO much fun. His mum and I are so equal minded that we get along a little too well and talk for hours about politics, love... the works. She's really nice. And she spoils me when she can, and I love her for it because it makes me feel so loved. When Kevin was in Korea, she sent me packages aswell as Kevin, and it helped. Plus she can get me Philosophy (the best face creams in the world... I swear. I've had no problems with the dry weather since I started using it). Kevin's going to get to hang out with his brothers again, and I know they all miss him so much, and I miss them too. It's so odd how much they all look alike. Kevin once asked me if I think his brothers are attractive... I looked at him odd because they are all SO SO much like him with different builds haha. I was like... of course silly. They look just like you, but they are all so different personality wise. It's so great being around them. They are all so nice and inviting. Kevin's sister had a baby last year and we really want to meet him before he's a year old. His name is Mason and he looks just like a little Irish man haha. Adorable little guy. Kevin has so much new family he has never met.

Seth Kevin's youngest brother looks nothing like him, but Kevin is close to him too of course, but he really misses his brother and has made a big effort to stay in touch with Kevin. I hope Kevin gets the time to spend some one on one time with him and his dad. Maybe I can have a girls day with his sister and mum, and Kevin and go do guy stuff with his dad and brother.

Thinking about our vacation got my mind off this terrible slow week.

The best part is when we get back from California. I'm going to Virginia for a few days to spend time with my mum, and maybe meet my grandma for the first time. I'm excited. I haven't seen my mum in almost a year and it's been so much harder than I thought it would be. I send her packages with things from Idaho and I get to talk to her a lot (except this week). I miss her SOOO much. I miss my sister and brother too. My brother just had a baby with his girlfriend. Her name is Tia and she is adorable. I can't wait to meet her and see my other nieces. I don't know when that'll be though. My sister said she would visit here sometime. I so hope she does. I will help pay for her tickets and we will see all the wonders. I know she'll love it just as much as I do.

I've made this entry too long. Time to get on with what I was doing... studying... Joy...

Alaska TDY, Home and random crap.

This week has SUCKED! SUCKED SUCKED AND MORE SUCKED!

I'm actually really frstraited about it. Last weekend we stayed home most of the time, Sunday we went to Boise and watched Inception (such a good flick), had dinner at the Over The Boarder. Which was the only thing open close to the movie theater at that time of night on a sunday. From there we went home and watched Gurren Lagann (finished Vol 1). I don't get what is going to happen in Vol 2 of GL since Vol 1 ends 20 years later when they are all old.  >.> No offense but I don't want to see grandma Yoko boobies. On Monday I woke up early, which ended up sucking a lot. Though Kevin did get off earlier than expected.

My hubby got his name on the fighter jet he's been fixing up. I'm so proud of him. Not many people say they have their name on a fighter jet.
We also found out that Kevin leaves this weekend. THIS F*&^KING WEEKEND! GRRR. Can I have my husband for a few months before you pull him away!?!?!?!?! Anyways, he's only gone for a few weeks, so I know it'll be ok, and he gets to see Alaska. A whole bunch of people are going. Including these two McSlutShakes. I really don't like that. One already tried to get her greasy disgusting hands on my hubbles! Lucky me I have a hubby who is 100% trustworthy. I don't like that girl, or her friend. She once bragged she blew 5 guys in one night... How can you brag that???? That's sick! I guess someone has to help the spread of STDS.

Anyways, that aside, we spent the night playing Dragon Age together and then watched Moribito. Slept on the couch... no reason... We have a perfectly good bed, but it just seemed like the right place to crash. HAHA. In the morning I decided to sleep in while Kevin got ready for work. I slept in till just passed 7PM. I couldn't believe it. Granted I didn't go to sleep till almost noon, but still. I decided I wouldn't go to the gym this week since I had so much to do. Regretting that since at least then I got social time. I took a trip over to Brandi's. She told me about her divorce. It's sad because she has two kids from two marriages and both are going to be missing their fathers in some way. Her husband doesn't get a choice where he goes. She does... It's sad. However, I am not a fan of building a marriage on something that's broken, and I think they are more friends then husband and wife.

When I got home I planned on getting my college coursework up and then walking Angel, but instead I came home to a scary message from Devon. It was 11PM her time, but I tried to call her anyways, she didn't answer. I freaked out and as a last resort got online and asked Odie what was going on. He told me the minimum stuff. When I finally got ahold of Devon we talked a while. She's in my VIP list. We have so much fun together, and I want to be there for her when she needs me, and I can't. I mean, I can give her advice over the phone, or help cheer her up over the phone/vent, but it's not really the same. I feel bad about that.

Once Devon went to bed I stayed online for a little while. Till Odie started talking about crap, and then I hopped off and played Dragon Age while finishing up chores. Once Kevin finally got home I made pizza for dinner... Extra sauce YUMMY (I want more). He played Dragon Age, and then we watched Chobits... Got to the episode where Chi gets felt up by some peepshow host and turns into Chobits, and then back to Chi so you wonder how her first time having sex will end. Then again a mecha robot shouldn't be anatomically correct. But then where would the fun be?

So after watching Chobits we went to bed. I woke up early today, and of course no Kevin because he's already at work. I HATE that he leaves and worked up till the day he goes. Can't I have one me day before you steal him away?!?! RAWR! *SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH!!!*

Today I have to walk the dog. Take care of the ferrets, dishes, laundry and vacuum. Joy. Maybe I should let my house go to shit so I have something to do. Then I got to get to studying and get my commissions done.

All in all it hasn't been a horrible week... just very BLAH. I hate lingering doom... HAHA

X Sie